Laughter & Darkness


Hi there, dear ones,

Today I had a great brunch with a dear friend.  One of the neatest things about this friend is how fiercely intelligent she is ~ have I mentioned how much I love smart women?  Oh, I do. I love being friends with smart women, and I love coaching smart women.

So, over brunch with this feisty, wise friend, with conversations ranging from Scandinavian adventures to fellas to vulnerabilities to creativity, I was once again challenged to write about what’s on my heart. And that is what I’m doing right now, in response to the encouragement of this lovely friend.

As we drove back to her house, I explained to her a little theory I had about life, to which she replied she had a similar theory, though with a darker twist.  I laughed, and asked her to share her theory.  She was right – it was similar – but much darker and more depressing.  I loved it.

Upon arriving at her house, she said, “Oh, remind me we need to discuss Anais Nin at some point.” I eagerly agreed, as I am a fan of her writing, and my friend looked at me, smiled, and warned, “I think she’s darker than you might think.” To this, I laughed and as she opened the car door I exclaimed, “I’m not afraid of the dark!” We both laughed and she walked away.

I’ve been smiling to myself about this conversation ever since.  It’s an interesting thing, to acknowledge both light and dark in the world. I have a natural bent towards the light, to seek the positive, and to see the world in this way. If you ask me how this happened, I couldn’t tell you, but it’s been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember.  Even in grade school, I remember people commenting on how much I smiled all the time. It just felt natural, and I joke that it’s one of my superpowers (to find the lightness).

But I’m not afraid to explore the depths and the darkness either. I dig authenticity, and messiness, and know that there is space for it all. The balance, in fact, fascinates me about life and people. We would not feel the lightness if we couldn’t feel the darkness.  Happiness and joy are magnified by the knowledge that life also encompasses suffering and tragedy.

The above quote, “I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing,” caught my attention this afternoon (post-brunch). It makes me think of lightness, and how brilliant it feels to be laughing through life. One of the best good things about life is laughter (yes, I just said “best good things” on purpose). Especially those gleeful laughs that one cannot suppress because of being caught in a moment of silliness or delight.  I *do* want to spend the rest of my life laughing (at least most of it), and I think this is a good vision to hold.

This vision also reminds me of something one of my clients mentioned to me this week.  (I learn so much from listening to my clients.) She explained to me that she’s been through so much difficulty in her life, that laughter and humor really help her through the pain.  She is incredibly strong, and laughter is a tool for her to move beyond and move forward.  She embraces the darkness, but also has brought light to her lived experience.

With all this in mind, let’s find ways to laugh through life.  Let’s bring lightness into our own lives, and into other people’s lives.  And let’s “not be afraid of the dark” together, and be there for one another in those times, too.  It’s all part of our experience here ~ and let’s experience it fully.

With love & light,



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