Drop it like it’s Hot & Live it Up

If you follow me on Instagram (@solandheart) or Facebook (which you totally should!), you may have noticed that my photos depict me having a lot of fun (especially recently).

A few people recently have looked at me wistfully and said, “Gosh, it looks like you’re enjoying summer.” And I’ve noticed that twice now my response was almost to apologize, and to explain that I’m not always having fun (sometimes life is frustrating, or depressing, or sad, too). I’m not sure why I do this, but I suppose it’s because I want people to know my life is real – and has ups and downs – or because I don’t want to seem like I’m somehow showing off. Humility to a fault, I suppose?

So after my third conversation like this, I’ve started pondering these conversations, I have two conclusions worth sharing:

1. Beware social comparison.

There’s a phenomenon that happens when we look at our peers’ lives (particularly on social media) called social comparison.  This is where we look at someone else’s life, and then compare it to our own.  We often do some mental math after that and consider how our life “adds up” in comparison to theirs.  Most of us do it, even if we’re not conscious of it. (I’m raising my hand here, too ~ as I know I do this sometimes.)

And I wanna call us all out on this. Marie Forleo says, when you notice yourself comparing, Drop it [that thought] like it’s hot. (You know, some other famous people have said that, too, though I’m not sure they were talking about comparison.)

For one thing, most of us only post the good stuff online; the fun stuff. We don’t post the time we cried our eyes out because {fill in the blank crappy thing} just happened to us. Maybe we’re broke, maybe our heart is broken, or maybe we’re just feeling discontent, but many of us don’t post those things online.  So it’s easy to look at someone’s life and think how perfect it seems, while forgetting that we’re not seeing the whole picture.

I’m not trying to be negative here, but I am reminding us all that social comparison is a waste of time.  When you find yourself doing it, drop it like it’s hot. Remember we all have ups and we all have downs and the spots in between.  Look at your own life and think about the good stuff, and the stuff you wanna change, and then get to it!

2. Let’s stop apologizing for the good times.

Goodness gracious (and I’m saying this to myself), let’s stop apologizing when things are going well in our lives.  There’s plenty of times that are rough in life – we all know this.  Sometimes things are easier, and sometimes things are tougher. If we’re blessed to be having fun and enjoying life, let’s live fully in those fun times.

For me, this is what living a vibrant life is about, and I am a life coach to help bring other people that sense of vibrancy, that sense of flow, and that sense of joy in their lives as much as possible.

So, when things are good, let’s share that goodness, that positivity, and gratitude.  When we are flourishing, we are more generous, happier, and tend to do even more good for others.

~~~

A few weeks ago, I posted about pretending we’re teenagers (without the angst).  Bringing carefree, chill, fun times to our lives this summer is so important. Giving ourselves freedom, fun, and time to relax is vital to living a vibrant life.

(And this means doing this even when current events may be breaking your heart ~ as they are mine. I’ll write another post soon on how these two things can co-exist ~ a vibrant life, and the drive to make the world a better place ~ because the world needs your goodness.)

Let’s continue to live full happy lives ~ in all of the moments we can ~ without comparison and without apologies.

Love & more love,

Solveig

 

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